Nostalgia

I promised myself I'd write more since it's so close to the end
this of course has been a hard task as finals are around the corner, and spending as much time with friends as possible is all I want to do

When I first began the blog, I didn't think much of it
I am just a girl who likes to write, who likes to see her thoughts and ideas on paper, ready for anyone to see
Writing this has sometimes been a bit stressful. I'm always left to wonder if the passion I have for what I'm saying is truly experienced by the reader or if it appears only as written words

well the passion is real

Studying abroad is a life changing experience

That exact phrase was repeated over and over again at my pre-study abroad orientation. 'Study abroad changed my life" At the time of course I thought it was a bit ridiculous. The old naive me, never having had the opportunity to truly conceptualize the lives of others in the world, thought of studying abroad as just fun. you meet people, learn a new language, and go to school.

of course all of these things happen, but there is an indefinite amount of learning that occurs outside of the classroom as well

just having the opportunity to see, to observe a new culture is enough. I have literally seen things I've never seen before. The simple sounds, sights, and smells of the city have made an impression on me. The way people interact with one another, the programs on television, the jokes and local sayings, all of this was a complete eye-opener

Sometimes being an English speaking westerner can be a bit of a hindrance. My reason for coming to this country was questioned but even more often my desire to learn another language fluently. "Why learn another language, the whole world speaks English" a friend once told me. I think there is a bit of truth to that. When I went to Costa Rica the people were so accustomed to tourists they did not give me a chance to speak Spanish, but instead spoke English right away. Here in Nicaragua English is the favorite foreign language class to take.

however

On my travels I met a girl from an island off the coast of Venezuela. She spoke Dutch, English, Spanish, her island's native language, and French. I could not help but be amazed (and slightly jealous) at her ability to speak all of these languages perfectly. I couldn't help but think, why wouldn't you want to have that beautiful ability to relate and communicate with so many people.

***

The other day one of my all time favorite movies The Motorcycle Diaries was on TV. The movie chronicles the early days of Che Guevara as he travels with a friend through Latin America. In the movie he is changed by the world, discovering the poverty and pain of the people of Latin America. Now I certainly don't plan to take Che Guevara’s path, but I can understand the beauty, and incredible feeling of exhilaration that comes from finally getting a chance to see a part of the world.

I talked to my friend Natasha who is studying abroad in the Dominican Republic and returns to the US the same day I do. We talked about the extremely different sayings and slang that are used in our respective countries, laughing and sharing stories. "We say que lo que here to say what's up,” she told me, continuing to detail her life in the Caribbean. We plan to meet up in New York and find a laid back spot that plays Latin music and serves traditional dishes. We now how this new experience to share.

***
My favorite line in the Motorcycle Diaries is the following: "Como es posible que eche en falta una civilacion que ni tan siquiera he conocido" which means "How is it possible to feel nostalgia for a world I never knew?"

I felt nostalgia for Nicaragua from the moment arrived here. I think it's absolutely possible to have more than one home.

Wide-eyed

Costa Rica
was beautiful in many ways-San Jose was gorgeous (but cold), i met some wonderful people in hostels, and enjoyed my birthday on the beach, watching the sun set before celebrating with Gretchen and new found friends in the evening.
it was expensive though, by expensive i mean non-Nicaraguan prices of course
and traveling from city to city was an arduous process
however

i had the chance to see the rain forest.

this was a completely thrilling experience

do you remember when you were a kid and watched those cool science shows, like let's say Bill Nye the Science Guy?
remember that sense of excitement, of being wowed?
well that's how I felt as I learned about the amazing ways in which the world is crafted
I signed up for the 3 in 1 rain forest tour. this included riding on a boat down the river, a short hike, lunch, and an aerial tram through the depths of the forest

it was absolutely beautiful. I saw monkeys, birds, iguanas, frogs and all sorts of animals in their natural habitats, this beats going to the zoo any day

on the aerial tram ride we moved through the three layers of the forest

if everyone got a chance to smell how fresh the air was there, there would be no question as to why saving the environment is so important

it was like breathing water, that's the best way i can describe it

but in Costa Rica I felt like a tourist. I felt as if Nicaragua was my home and I was just visiting for a while. but of course the United States is my home and I'm visiting Nicaragua as well

so this is when reality sets in

I have three weeks left

a completely unbelievable idea

I also have a very real fear
that when I return back to the US, somehow I will forget all that I've seen and all that I've felt

I've heard the horror stories of those who have traveled, stepped out of their comfort zones, explored the world outside of New Hampshire, New Jersey or whatever state they may reside in and returned to their home towns, all that they know, and seamlessly fallen back into the bubble

i don't want that
i want to continue to feel changed and renewed

these last weeks i'm walking through this country with eyes wide open
hoping to record everything that i see,
making an indelible impression in my mind's eye
i want to remain changed
i want a new me to return home

on the road

quick note
I will be updating soon
on my way to costa rica in a few hours for vacaction (semana santa)
Costa Rica is supposed to be beautiful
in a few long hours, I will be able to give a first hand account of all that I see