Nicaragua Nicaraguita

This will be my last post



I've been back in the United States, Boston specifically, for about a two weeks now.
I've spent time with friends, said hellos and goodbyes, and explored the city.

There isn't much more to say now. I've said so much about Nicaragua and will continue to spread the word about the beautiful country, the overlooked treasure . It's like having a constant toothache, the way i miss my second home.

I have dreams of going back and it feels so incredibly surreal to be here in the United States after months of being away.

Mostly I look forward to the future. I have a great job that will start soon, and am sharing an apartment in a beautiful Boston neighborhood for the summer with my school year roommate and wonderful friend.

But I will never forget how I felt in Latin America.

And I will never stop searching for the blissful feeling I had while I was abroad,
nor will I forget the joy of traveling and seeing the world.

This is only the beginning of my adventure

Feeling renewed, I am just about to take flight

I don't know what the future holds, but it has never been more clear what kind of life I know I have to live

Argentina, Venezuela, Russia, Australia, Panama, Belize, Portugal, Eritrea
I know now all I want to do is see as much of the world as I can
I can only hope that some of what I wrote has made you feel that passion as well

Friends

I have less than a week left in this beautiful country
Thankfully things seem to be coming together for the summer: I've found an affordable apartment in a nice area of Boston, have a few job interviews coming up, and am looking forward to traveling in the US

My last day of class is tomorrow. One final exam marks the end of my junior year of college

time flies

If I had written a new post everyday, I'm sure I could have communicated even more of what I've seen, but for me that is like taking a million pictures during any great experience. Some things simply have to be enjoyed.

I did however, want to take time and talk about a few people that have made my experience here amazing.

My host family:
Doña Marina and Don Antonio have been the best host parents, more than I had hoped for. I've never had a day where I haven't felt completely welcome here. Doña Marina, a fantastic cook, loves to read my magazines. Mind you I only brought one copy of Details and GQ (I seldom read woman's mags), but it amused her to try to figure out the stories only by looking at the pictures. "Look how skinny these girls are" she would exclaim, whenever a fancy fashion or beer ad would graze the pages.

Don Antonio (who's accent I still have trouble understanding) is a teacher at UCA. His teaching extended far outside the classroom however. Everyday he had some new fact: the names of different types of mangoes, the leading tennis players in the world, whatever you could think of. It was exciting to see someone speak with such passion and genuine love of new things.

Maete I didn't see very often. Our schedules never quite coincided. While I was in school she was at home and vice versa. However, she had a love of American music as many kids her age here do. I had a lot of fun explaining the lyrics of everything from Lady Gaga's Poker Face to Rihanna's Disturbia. She almost always believed the lyrics meant something other than they really did and was thrilled she could tell her friends the real deal.

Baby Emily has grown so much. When I came here she was barely talking and only crawling. After nearly four months she is on the brink of walking soon and brings life and energy to the house more than ever.

Friends:
My three greatest friends here Roberto, Fernanda, and Gretchen have been amazing. I always thought that I'd know my Spanish would be coming along when I could understand and make jokes. Roberto made me feel sure of that, making some not so fun classes bearable and always having great plans for the weekends. He has big dreams of being a journalist, and although his English isn't perfect he's got a great chance of doing well in the US as he is moving to San Francisco soon.

Fernanda is in a category of her own. She somehow manages to put at least one "Viva Mexico" into any given conversation and is an absolute riot. She inspired me to take more risks in the future. She was scheduled to leave Nicaragua at the end of this semester but instead has decided to stay an additional 6 months. She received a ton of backlash from her friends and family back at home but says she is doing what she feels is right.

Gretchen has been my partner in crime. The fact that she is the only other US student here is not the only reason we instantly bonded, it's because we share many of the same views on life. We both have dreams of working internationally and are very spontaneous, artistic people. It was truly fortunate that we both wound up here in this same program. It would not have been the same without her.

I know it will be different when I return home but I’ve realized anywhere you go it’s your friends, the people that you connect with, that make your experience. I feel this summer will be a good one because of all the great people I'll have around me.

There is a lot that I will miss about being here, but it is the connections I’ve made with people that I will definitely miss the most.

Nostalgia

I promised myself I'd write more since it's so close to the end
this of course has been a hard task as finals are around the corner, and spending as much time with friends as possible is all I want to do

When I first began the blog, I didn't think much of it
I am just a girl who likes to write, who likes to see her thoughts and ideas on paper, ready for anyone to see
Writing this has sometimes been a bit stressful. I'm always left to wonder if the passion I have for what I'm saying is truly experienced by the reader or if it appears only as written words

well the passion is real

Studying abroad is a life changing experience

That exact phrase was repeated over and over again at my pre-study abroad orientation. 'Study abroad changed my life" At the time of course I thought it was a bit ridiculous. The old naive me, never having had the opportunity to truly conceptualize the lives of others in the world, thought of studying abroad as just fun. you meet people, learn a new language, and go to school.

of course all of these things happen, but there is an indefinite amount of learning that occurs outside of the classroom as well

just having the opportunity to see, to observe a new culture is enough. I have literally seen things I've never seen before. The simple sounds, sights, and smells of the city have made an impression on me. The way people interact with one another, the programs on television, the jokes and local sayings, all of this was a complete eye-opener

Sometimes being an English speaking westerner can be a bit of a hindrance. My reason for coming to this country was questioned but even more often my desire to learn another language fluently. "Why learn another language, the whole world speaks English" a friend once told me. I think there is a bit of truth to that. When I went to Costa Rica the people were so accustomed to tourists they did not give me a chance to speak Spanish, but instead spoke English right away. Here in Nicaragua English is the favorite foreign language class to take.

however

On my travels I met a girl from an island off the coast of Venezuela. She spoke Dutch, English, Spanish, her island's native language, and French. I could not help but be amazed (and slightly jealous) at her ability to speak all of these languages perfectly. I couldn't help but think, why wouldn't you want to have that beautiful ability to relate and communicate with so many people.

***

The other day one of my all time favorite movies The Motorcycle Diaries was on TV. The movie chronicles the early days of Che Guevara as he travels with a friend through Latin America. In the movie he is changed by the world, discovering the poverty and pain of the people of Latin America. Now I certainly don't plan to take Che Guevara’s path, but I can understand the beauty, and incredible feeling of exhilaration that comes from finally getting a chance to see a part of the world.

I talked to my friend Natasha who is studying abroad in the Dominican Republic and returns to the US the same day I do. We talked about the extremely different sayings and slang that are used in our respective countries, laughing and sharing stories. "We say que lo que here to say what's up,” she told me, continuing to detail her life in the Caribbean. We plan to meet up in New York and find a laid back spot that plays Latin music and serves traditional dishes. We now how this new experience to share.

***
My favorite line in the Motorcycle Diaries is the following: "Como es posible que eche en falta una civilacion que ni tan siquiera he conocido" which means "How is it possible to feel nostalgia for a world I never knew?"

I felt nostalgia for Nicaragua from the moment arrived here. I think it's absolutely possible to have more than one home.

Wide-eyed

Costa Rica
was beautiful in many ways-San Jose was gorgeous (but cold), i met some wonderful people in hostels, and enjoyed my birthday on the beach, watching the sun set before celebrating with Gretchen and new found friends in the evening.
it was expensive though, by expensive i mean non-Nicaraguan prices of course
and traveling from city to city was an arduous process
however

i had the chance to see the rain forest.

this was a completely thrilling experience

do you remember when you were a kid and watched those cool science shows, like let's say Bill Nye the Science Guy?
remember that sense of excitement, of being wowed?
well that's how I felt as I learned about the amazing ways in which the world is crafted
I signed up for the 3 in 1 rain forest tour. this included riding on a boat down the river, a short hike, lunch, and an aerial tram through the depths of the forest

it was absolutely beautiful. I saw monkeys, birds, iguanas, frogs and all sorts of animals in their natural habitats, this beats going to the zoo any day

on the aerial tram ride we moved through the three layers of the forest

if everyone got a chance to smell how fresh the air was there, there would be no question as to why saving the environment is so important

it was like breathing water, that's the best way i can describe it

but in Costa Rica I felt like a tourist. I felt as if Nicaragua was my home and I was just visiting for a while. but of course the United States is my home and I'm visiting Nicaragua as well

so this is when reality sets in

I have three weeks left

a completely unbelievable idea

I also have a very real fear
that when I return back to the US, somehow I will forget all that I've seen and all that I've felt

I've heard the horror stories of those who have traveled, stepped out of their comfort zones, explored the world outside of New Hampshire, New Jersey or whatever state they may reside in and returned to their home towns, all that they know, and seamlessly fallen back into the bubble

i don't want that
i want to continue to feel changed and renewed

these last weeks i'm walking through this country with eyes wide open
hoping to record everything that i see,
making an indelible impression in my mind's eye
i want to remain changed
i want a new me to return home

on the road

quick note
I will be updating soon
on my way to costa rica in a few hours for vacaction (semana santa)
Costa Rica is supposed to be beautiful
in a few long hours, I will be able to give a first hand account of all that I see

La Costa Atlántica

My mother is coming tomorrow
I've got every place we will go planned
She'll be here barely a week so I want to make every day count

Of my family here:
Don Antonio (the husband of my host mother Marina who had previously been away in Spain) is a fascinating person to watch. His Spanish is incredibly difficult for me to understand; nevertheless, we manage to have a few conversations about what is going on in the world.

Baby Emily lights up the house. The energy of everyone is emboldened by her always cheerful presence. She literally is always smiling.

My little sister Maete I rarely see. While I'm at home she is at school and I leave the house to travel almost every weekend. This weekend was a rare exception. I decided to stay at home, eat lunch with her, and shoot the breeze. For that reason, on Saturday I met more family members: Janet’s two teenage daughters. I cannot remember their names only that they were 18 and 19 years old and that our conversation showed me how much I still have to learn about this country.

As we conversed in general we inevitable began to discuss poverty. I told what I had seen here in Managua: young children begging in the streets, the metal shacks, the old folk sleeping on the sidewalk. The 19 year old looked at me, shook her head and said,"claro, pero La Costa Atlántica es peor."

The Atlantic Coast is a part of Nicaragua that is very different culturally. The majority of the residents are black also called Afro-Nicaraguans and speak English Creole. The land there is much harder to work, there are fewer schools, and it rains nearly ten months out of the year.

She talks about the cyclical nature of the poverty there, the lack of good universities like those of Managua and Leon. She tells me about the young girls who bear children at the age of nine and ten.

This is the hardest thing to hear. "What if their health is in danger?" I cannot help but ask. It doesn't matter. All forms of abortion are illegal here in Nicaragua. If you become pregnant young or by rape it doesn't make a difference. You literally will go to jail if you attempt to have the procedure.

This I find hard to swallow, so I ask her if it has always been this way. The lack of abortion even if the mother’s life is in danger.

"Ortega" she simply says, glaring.

There is political turmoil here as it is in many parts of Latin America. Daniel Ortega is the current president of Nicaragua. During my stay here there have been protests against him, as the public believes he cheated his way into office. Although abortion has been illegal here for a long time, it was Ortega who supported the move to make emergency abortions punishable by a six-year prison term.

***

I used to be incredibly pessimistic about the state of the world. I would constantly say to myself, nothing we do is going to produce wide spread change; everything will always be how it will be. People will always be cruel and hurt one another.

I’ve begun to realize it doesn’t matter if that is true or not. I think of how much I value my own life and how even if I can’t help every single person in the world whoever I can help will be all the better off. That one life would be better. For that person the world would be different.

Learning about the situations of those young girls, who are in even harsher conditions than what I have seen here truly moved something in me. I know that if I had been born in different place or time my life could have easily been theirs.

For those who are fortunate there is more that can be done than just being thankful.
At least for me I feel my purpose is becoming clearer by the day.

home

So as I've said close to a million times by now
time is flying
this has become more apparent of course as I look for a summer job in the US
the economy
that's all I have to say about that

everything has been going well, i haven't hit too many bumps in the road yet

however

there are three wonderful things that are about to happen:
1. my mother is coming to visit me in less than 10 days
2. I'm traveling to the beautiful country of Costa Rica for spring break
3. i will turn the wonderfully youthful, exciting, revolutionary age of 21 while in Costa Rica

what is the greatest of the three?
my mom coming of course, which seems incredibly cheesy I'm sure
but it's true

the entire time I've been here I can't think of one time I have legitimately missed and wanted to return to the United States. All I can think of is how much I want to stay here and see every country in latin america. This fact I took as a sign that I am strong enough and have spirit to be a backpacking, adventurous traveler when I get the chance, or rather when I make the chance for myself

despite this overwhelming feeling of freedom, I have never stopped missing my family and friends. It's quite a different feeling being so far away from home. the way you miss someone is entirely different when you know you're not a hop and skip away

not that my hometown of Detroit and Boston are close together, but somehow knowing you reside in the same country, watch the same shows, can go eat at some of the same places maintains a sense of comfort

but here I am in another world
and now a huge part of the world I know is entering the world I'm in now

i imagine my mom's visit will be like reliving my first days here. my first meal, first view of the city, first bus ride through the country

all relived for me, through my mother's eyes

i cannot wait

my home is coming to me